Funeral Service Celebrant

In many cases in speaking with families I hear the same response to some of my suggestions.  That is, "I didn't know I could do that."  It is for those families and for all the families I haven't served yet that I created this blog.  When people are informed going into a situation, the outcome is most often better than if they had gone in "blind" so to speak.  This particular post is just another of those circumstances.

I met with a family not too long ago who came in to the funeral home where I work and immediately said their loved one "wasn't big into church" and because of that, they were just going to have their loved one cremated and then they'd figure out what to do with them afterward.  Their thought?  Funerals they've been to throughout their lives had a priest, minister or rabbi officiate and because they didn't have one of those, they were just going to forego any service whatsoever.

That made my heart sad.  Someone had died who lived a long, productive life.  That person touched the lives of so many and because the family I was serving thought it would be awkward to have a religious person officiate if that didn't fully represent their loved one, they were going to let that story of the person's life go uncommemorated or otherwise, uncelebrated.

I introduced the family to Funeral Service Celebrant services.  Here's what that is.

Celebrants are creators of personal ceremonies and experts in composing and performing funeral services.  They are professional communicators who reflect the wishes and values of the loved one and the loved one's family.  They serve as hosts or officiants at the funeral and excel as contemporaries of families that are not particularly "religious".  They blend religious and non-religious themes and help families who would normally not have services.  The psychological effects of funeral services are therapeutic in nature and help people on the path of grieving and bereavement.  Celebrants are perfect for families seeking a more unique service as well as those who do not have a relationship with local clergy. 

A celebrant will meet with the family and learn more about their loved one and his or her hobbies.  The celebrant will research poems, songs and incorporate personal stories from family and friends to honor the life lived.  Services don't need to be a spectator event either.  Many services I perform incorporate family participation if they want (any many do).  Show the roots of the deceased and how they evolved over time during the course of the ceremony.  Death is certain for all of us.  It is a reality that we all must face from time to time.  How we navigate that time can effect us for the rest of our lives.  No life is insignificant and celebrants help bring that to light.  Lastly, the presence of community, family and friends around you at this time lets you know you are not alone.

These services then, as you can see, are truly one of a kind.  While the casket or urn selection, flowers, etc. are all "customization", relating a life-story and reliving high points of that life is "personalization".  Many people may select a particular casket, vault, urn, flower etc., but NONE will have the same story.  

Don't get me wrong, ritual is good.  Many celebrants work in conjunction with clergy to get the best of both worlds however, I personally feel I have not served a family to the best of my own ability if their loved one died and their story is left otherwise untold.  So many don't mention the name of the deceased after they die for fear it may evoke emotional responses.  That's the point however.  Tell the stories.  Some may cry, some may laugh, some may be a new story they didn't know about already and they may get to learn more about that person from the story.  But...if the story goes untold, none of that can happen.

Now I'm not saying we must get elaborate and it needn't be costly.  Celebrants can officiate in a back yard, field, on a boat etc.  The deceased's remains can either be present or not depending on many things.

So let's create the event of a lifetime.  Tell the story.  Every part of the funeral can be unique.

Ask your funeral service professional about these services if they don't bring it up.  For a list of Certified Funeral Service Celebrants near you go to http://www.insightbooks.com/ and click on "Find a Celebrant" in the lower right blue portion of the home page.

Let the story be told.  "We live on in the lives of those we touch."

Cremation Options

What is this you might ask?  It is an "Urn Arc".  That is, a way in which to present and otherwise display an urn containing cremated remains of a deceased person.  It also provides bars which are used for pall bearers to carry the deceased's remains from place to place.  This can be used at the funeral home, church or graveside.

So many of my families are now turning to cremation for final disposition but they are challenged with still trying to keep some portion or portions "traditional".  Here's one of the best ways to combine tradition with contemporary choices.  Many of my families have their loved ones cremated and then want services.  They know there are people who would want the distinguished honor of being a pall bearer but if there is merely an urn, only one person is needed to carry it and face it, it looks awkward.  With an urn arc, you can have from two to six pall bearers.  Additionally, the funeral home may use a hearse to transport the deceased in the urn arc from place to place giving another symbol of excellence and respect in transporting the remains to its place of final rest.

This is but one way to add a "traditional" sense of the service to an ever increasingly popular choice of cremation.

Ask your funeral director about availability as many funeral homes do not have an Urn Arc.  Our funeral homes do.