Trending

Again with the apologies about how long its been since I blogged concerning the funeral industry and my involvement and feelings about it.  This short portion will be about what I've seen over the past couple of years as a trend.

This trend it mostly driven by the economy, I believe.  Its official title is "direct cremation".  Basically, a cremation with NO services.  If this is what you have to do for financial reasons, I get it but please let me offer some suggestions.  Don't just let your last thought about that loved one be what you saw after months or years enduring a disease and wasting away in a convalescent home.  You can go inexpensive at a funeral home and still memorialize someone.

Granted, as a funeral director trying to make money for my home and myself (hey - that's reality) it is probably considered counter intuitive for me to be blogging about this but I hold true to this being more a "ministry" for me.  A "calling" if you will.

Like it or not, we were trained or "conditioned" in our ways of grieving.  It is cultural, it is social, it is ingrained in us. We process our grief the way we were taught from the time we were young.  Ask yourself...how old was I when I went to my first funeral?  Was there a body in a casket?  Was the casket closed or open?  Was there an urn with a photo near it?  Was there any urn at all or maybe just a photo or picture board?  Then of those, ask which one of those scenarios you attended the most over the years and that is your training.  That helped you manage how you got through that time.  No matter which one of these you identified with, I'll be willing to bet you didn't answer something like, "when my ___________ died, we did nothing."

So how do we do things on a shoestring budget and still get the conditioned response we're used to?  Don't change it?  If you have to modify it, try to keep some part of it the same.

Example:  If you're used to open casket viewing calling hours and so on... modify it to a closed casket (even if there is an urn with cremated remains inside).  This will save you money (rental caskets available at most funeral facilities) and cremation is much less expensive than full service traditional burial.

Example:  If your used to calling hours the night before, coming back to the funeral home the next morning, going in procession to church, then procession to a cemetery try having everything on the same day instead.  Maybe a calling hour at the funeral home then to the church then cemetery.  OR, Just a church service, then the cemetery.   This too is less expensive.

Your funeral director should be able to work with you at modifying the funeral experience so as to minimally deviate from your "norm" and still save money.

I don't think in any of the scenarios any funeral director will come up with will he or she say, "just cremate and forget about it."  Its ingrained in our lives to mourn, grieve and pay tribute... one last time.  Do it in a way as unique as the life lived because no two people live their life exactly the same.

God bless.

Pre-need basics

So you have life insurance so you don't need to have pre-need funeral coverage.

Check your state but in Connecticut, if you have a sizable life insurance policy and end up having to go on long-term care / Title 19, you will be forced to surrender it because it's an asset.  Of course when you "cash out" of a life insurance prematurely you also take a financial hit which the insurance industry more politically correctly calls a "fee" and sometimes is bold enough to call a "penalty".  No matter how you word it, you lose money.  YOUR money.

I hear my life insurance is assignable.  (Meaning your beneficiary(ies) can have it pay for the funeral directly without any out of pocket expense provided the policy amount covers the funeral bill)

Yes. This is true.  However, refer to the first paragraph regarding Title 19.  Additionally, there are other added bonuses to electing to have a pre-need at most funeral homes.  Those are -

Your money is held by a third party and insured like money in the bank in case something happens to your funeral home of choice in between the time you sign your pre-need contract and the time of death.

Also, in most cases (including the homes I work at), all the funeral home costs of goods and services are price protected f-o-r-e-v-e-r.  That is, if you purchase a casket today for $1,000 and don't require one for another 75 years, you get that or a casket of similar materials, quality etc., for $1,000.  Funeral home goods and services are their professional services charge, transfer from the place of death to the funeral home, embalming, dressing/casketing, calling hours, use of chapel or staff to attend and coordinate a funeral service off premises, register book, prayer cards, outer burial container aka. vault at the cemetery and many more charges.

In the olden days, many directors would put your money in certificates of deposit and hope that the interest rate covered the inflationary rate.  If it didn't, you would simply owe more when the time came.  To me, that doesn't give piece of mind.

So what's not covered in your price protection?

Glad you asked.  Anything that we have to pay out on your behalf and therefore have no control over the costs of is not covered.  Examples are: obituary costs, grave opening, certified copies of the death certificate, clergy, organist/soloist, church charges, cemetery sexton charges, medical examiner's fee etc.  You can put money away in the pre-need contract to help offset those charges when the time comes but we can't tell other agencies what they have to charge us or you.  We just make those payments out of the funeral fund at no added expense to you, the family, so you don't have to walk around with a checkbook writing checks to a multitude of places or providing credit card numbers all over the place.

Once I write this stuff down and sign it, no one can change it.....right?

Wrong.

Your loved ones may modify it however they see fit at the time of need.  Additionally there is a legal line of kindred so someone you may not want making those decisions on your behalf may have the law on their side.  BUT....what you can do, is simply fill out a notarized legal form designating someone with a backup someone who you think will carry out your wishes.  That form supersedes the legal line of kindred.  Of course, in the litigious society in which we live, nothing is "bullet proof" and processes may be dragged out through court but at least doing this ahead of time will give you and the person(s) you designate, a leg up during that process if it comes to it.

More to come in another post at a later time.  I just like to put out little bits to chew on at any one time because there is just so much to learn, know and prepare for, if I did it all in one huge document you may feel overwhelmed.

I hope you all enjoy these little tidbits I put out and again, remember to go to the funeral home(s) you are considering and look them over.  Meet the directors and support staff.  Talk with them.  If you're not comfortable, go somewhere else.  Don't just go somewhere cause that's where you always went.  Go somewhere you are comfortable and confident in.  Go in with the attitude that this is all about YOU because..... it is!