Funeral Tips and Information: June 2012

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Funeral Q & A

I'm a licensed funeral director/embalmer in the state of Connecticut. It always seems like there's a list of questions people have for me once they find out what I do. Many ask me the same question time and time again so I figure I'd like to answer those questions publicly so more people can get answers to their questions and benefit from this knowledge.
Additionally, I will occasionally post tips, little known facts on some of the following topics:

Burial versus Cremation: Cost difference, religious implication, common misperceptions
Veteran Benefits: What our veterans are entitled to and where to get more info.
Pre-arranging and the benefits of doing so: How it protects you and helps make your wishes known to your family.

And of course, I will try to tactfully answer your questions. If they are of a personal nature, please contact me directly for assistance.
I hope you enjoy this opportunity.

NOTE: While I may mention the funeral service I work for in future posts, this is a blog and intended as such to voice personal opinions, experience and/or product knowledge. My writings are just that, mine, and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, policies, practices or procedures of the company I work for.

About the Author

~ About the author ~

I live in Norwich with my wife and two children. I am a retired police officer after more than 20 years of service to the City of Norwich. I looked at policing as a service to people of my community where I was born and raised. Likewise, I look at funeral directing as a service to people however, with a more focused concentration on a difficulty in someone’s life where I feel I can help. That is, the death of a loved one and helping to guide those people down a path they’d rather not have to travel. My goal? To bring them to a destination that is as good as it can possibly be at the end of the services. I don’t believe in “cookie cutter” services. Each funeral, whether it’s considered to be traditional burial, cremation or a combination of the two, should be as unique as the life lived. No two people are exactly alike and no two funerals should be exactly alike either (unless it is the family’s request as that trumps everything else). I am honored to work for a group of funeral homes that has a myriad of services to offer, and allows me the leeway to help create a fitting event to celebrate that unique life. My motto when arranging a funeral is, “If it’s not illegal, immoral or unethical, I’m on board. Let’s do it!”

I have to say I treat this career more like a ministry than a “job”. The satisfaction I get at the end of each day is indescribable. To me it’s better than a paycheck (don’t tell my boss). Some have found that statement, well….a little weird. While I am removed from the life-long attachment that the surviving family has from their deceased loved one, I can focus on the event of the celebration of life without being clouded with the waves of emotion that affect the families I serve. Yes, I still have feelings. I’ve cried with some families, laughed with others but I’m always focused on the memory picture being its best. Much like the saying, “You never get a second chance to make a good first impression”, there is only one funeral for each person.

I will write about the profession, service types, various products and services I'm aware of out there, resources and more. And yes, some commentary may be "tongue in cheek" and not necessarily gloomy, downtrodden, or otherwise somber or sad. It will never be intended to be disrespectful in any way as the sanctity of the funeral is always foremost.

So my goal writing these articles it to help keep people informed and current while they’re thinking clearly before having to deal with a loss. Then, maybe something I wrote about will click when it needs to and help you through that difficult time.

Articles about the author:

Norwich Bulletin: http://www.norwichbulletin.com/news/x11207256/Officer-turned-funeral-director-says-link-is-helping-people-in-need#axzz23lD69s2u

Montville Patch:

http://montville-ct.patch.com/articles/i-am-not-the-spooky-mortician-guy