Trending

Again with the apologies about how long its been since I blogged concerning the funeral industry and my involvement and feelings about it.  This short portion will be about what I've seen over the past couple of years as a trend.

This trend it mostly driven by the economy, I believe.  Its official title is "direct cremation".  Basically, a cremation with NO services.  If this is what you have to do for financial reasons, I get it but please let me offer some suggestions.  Don't just let your last thought about that loved one be what you saw after months or years enduring a disease and wasting away in a convalescent home.  You can go inexpensive at a funeral home and still memorialize someone.

Granted, as a funeral director trying to make money for my home and myself (hey - that's reality) it is probably considered counter intuitive for me to be blogging about this but I hold true to this being more a "ministry" for me.  A "calling" if you will.

Like it or not, we were trained or "conditioned" in our ways of grieving.  It is cultural, it is social, it is ingrained in us. We process our grief the way we were taught from the time we were young.  Ask yourself...how old was I when I went to my first funeral?  Was there a body in a casket?  Was the casket closed or open?  Was there an urn with a photo near it?  Was there any urn at all or maybe just a photo or picture board?  Then of those, ask which one of those scenarios you attended the most over the years and that is your training.  That helped you manage how you got through that time.  No matter which one of these you identified with, I'll be willing to bet you didn't answer something like, "when my ___________ died, we did nothing."

So how do we do things on a shoestring budget and still get the conditioned response we're used to?  Don't change it?  If you have to modify it, try to keep some part of it the same.

Example:  If you're used to open casket viewing calling hours and so on... modify it to a closed casket (even if there is an urn with cremated remains inside).  This will save you money (rental caskets available at most funeral facilities) and cremation is much less expensive than full service traditional burial.

Example:  If your used to calling hours the night before, coming back to the funeral home the next morning, going in procession to church, then procession to a cemetery try having everything on the same day instead.  Maybe a calling hour at the funeral home then to the church then cemetery.  OR, Just a church service, then the cemetery.   This too is less expensive.

Your funeral director should be able to work with you at modifying the funeral experience so as to minimally deviate from your "norm" and still save money.

I don't think in any of the scenarios any funeral director will come up with will he or she say, "just cremate and forget about it."  Its ingrained in our lives to mourn, grieve and pay tribute... one last time.  Do it in a way as unique as the life lived because no two people live their life exactly the same.

God bless.